my reality: what if?

Friday 7 November 2008

what if?

how do you put your heart and soul into working towards something, while at the same time keeping in mind that it is not the be all and end all?

how can you want something more than anything but still tell yourself you'll be okay without?

and how do you come to terms with the fact that you've invested such a big part of your life into something you might not have wanted in the first place, but that you now can't help but want by virtue of your investment?

i'm scared.

2 comments:

Bryan said...: if it's your major, then I can tell you that everyone has "buyers remorse," especially if that major is sending them on a set path. I had that at the beginning of the year and I freaked my parents out quite a bit :).

And if it's something else, then I don't know. Except that you're one of the most level headed people I know, and that if anyone can find their way out of a problem, it's you.; 7 November 2008 at 08:41
AmbivalentMonk said...: I think it would be ironic if we were all made out of iron.

You were in my dream last night...; 7 November 2008 at 16:13

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"the greatest hazard of all, losing the self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. no other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss - an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc. - is sure to be noticed.

thus possibility seems greater and greater to the self; more and more it becomes possible because nothing becomes actual. eventually everything seems possible, but this is exactly the point at which the abyss swallows up the self. it takes time for each little possibility to become an actuality. eventually, however, the time that should be used for actuality grows shorter and shorter; everything becomes more and more momentary. possibility becomes more and more intensive - but in the sense of possibility, not in the sense of actuality, for the intensive in the sense of actuality means to actualize some of what is possible. the instant something appears to be possible, a new possibility appears, and finally these phantasmagoria follow one another in such rapid succession that it seems as if everything were possible, and this is exactly the final moment, the point at which the individual himself becomes a mirage."

- the sickness unto death, soren kierkegaard

my reality

Friday 7 November 2008

what if?

2 comments:

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