a you-shaped hole.

it's hard to be completely honest with yourself. which is strange, if you think about it, because trying to lie to yourself is really a lost cause. but still, we try.

it's a rude awakening when you take a long, hard look inside yourself and realise that you are afraid of not getting what you truly want, and that to deal with that fear you've been distracting yourself with lesser things. you've been trying to convince yourself that what is conveniently at hand is what you want when in actual fact, it is probably not. it's just the next best thing.

it's probably toughest to realise that despite being aware of that fear and your "making do", you are afraid of letting go of second-best because maybe second-best is that best you're going to get.

and that's a scary thought.