"i can be an idiot... please be magnanimous."
i haven't blogged for a while... almost a month now. quite a lot has happened, and i've been doing some soul-searching as a result. things were never black and white for me, but they seem even more equivocal now. what i want, what i should want, what i should do, where i want to be, why i want to do/be what/where i want to do/be, whom i want to surround myself with. priorities. interestingly i'm not as driven as i usually am to sort it all out in my head. it's scary not feeling in control, but maybe control is an illusion after all.
i think i'll try out this ambiguity for a while. i was told today that i'm "just a baby" at 21; maybe i should revel in the naivete that entitles me to. for a while. a while is all i really have, anyway.
"and all of these moments
just might find their way into my dreams tonight
but i know that they'll be gone,
when the morning light sings
and brings new things,
but tomorrow night you see
that they'll be gone too,
too many things i have to do,
but if all of these dreams might find their way
into my day-to-day scene
i'll be under the impression,
i was somewhere in-between
with only two,
just me and you
not so many things we got to do,
or places we got to be
we'll sit beneath the mango tree now."
- better together, jack johnson.
Friday 12 February 2010
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3 comments:
Meh, you're too mature to be "just a baby." Granted, you see things idealogically sometimes, but based off my conversations with you, you have more than enough grasp of yourself to answer questions pertaining to what you want and what you think you want.
Besides, answers to those questions and being able to face them for what they are facilitates growth. You can't remain a "21 year old baby" forever, right? I think you're more than ready to grow out of your shell of ignorance and face the world for what it really is. Besides, I'm sure you'll find that the answers aren't near as bad as what you think they might be.
Oops, what I said makes you sound like you're ignorant of the ways of the world. I believe you're more familiar of them than you think you are.
yeah, i guess i'm not completely immature and naive... but sometimes i feel as if i expect too much of myself when i should just cut myself some slack, you know? then on the other hand i wonder if i'd shortchange myself if i did cut myself some slack, because maybe i wouldn't get as far and do as much as if i pushed. it seems to have been a recurrent theme in my life over the past couple of years...
anyhow. hope all's well with you! you're almost done with korea aren't you?
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