coulda woulda shoulda.

i got an email today from one of the labs at stanford saying that they had hired two research interns for the summer just two days before i emailed them. i could've emailed them sooner - but the couple of weeks before i did spring term started, i went to florida, and then i had to catch up with all the work i'd missed.

i should've emailed them sooner.

now i'm waiting to hear back from one more lab, but honestly, i don't think i got it. i also didn't get called back for an interview with the internship i applied for in eugene. which means summer for me would probably mean more school and work at moss street, which doesn't look very different from what i've been doing all this while. no break from the routine... and even worse, most people won't be around. =(

it would be so nice to spend my summer just traveling... too bad i'm only getting paid minimum wage.

it just really, really sucks, you know? you'd think my 4.17 gpa might be a bit more useful.
i'm so tired of getting my hopes up; for seeing opportunities, reaching for them and having them slip through my fingers.

i wish i had the patience to wait for a door to open, which i'm sure it will eventually when the time is right. looking back, i see a reason for everything i've been through: everything i've gotten as well as everything that i've wanted but didn't get. it's made me who i am today. so yeah, i wish i had a little bit more faith, to know that there is a plan for me.

win some and learn some, delle, win some and learn some.
cry, rant, bitch, complain, despair, mope, sulk for a while... then move on.
what else is there to do?

"it just takes some time,
little girl, you're in the middle of the ride.
everything, everything will be just fine,
everything, everything will be alright, alright."

- the middle, jimmy eat world.