tried and true.

it's been a lazy but busy, relaxing yet draining, unproductive yet fruitful break so far. two things it has undoubtedly been though, is interesting and unhealthy. i had a lot of firsts - i made my first snowman, followed by my first snowduck, tried cross-country skiing for the first time, had my first donut here, made nasi lemak, chicken curry and pisang goreng for the first time ever (and they all tasted really yummy!), cut down my first christmas tree (well i watched, but it counts), saw and stood in snowfall for the first time, traveled by train for the first time here, and missed eugene for the first time. that's not all too, there are more... but these are the ones more worth mentioning. =)

oh and i went to watch the nutcracker today! i'm not sure if that's a first too, 'cause i vaguely remember watching part of it at least... but it was absolutely awesome. it wasn't perfect, but i enjoyed every bit of it. i miss ballet! seeing the pirouettes and pointe shoes and petit jetes made my feet itch. the dancers did a job of entertaining the non-twinkle-toed in the audience too, by incorporating other well-known, more "secular" moves - herr drosselmeyer moonwalked and did part of the "pacifist's" thriller, the mouse king did the macarena, and another of the mice cranked dat soulja boy! it was hilarious. i'm glad i went.

the pangs of homesickness have intensified, and i can't sing "i'm dreaming of a white christmas" anymore because it's so far removed from the truth. it doesn't help that the different families and homes i've spent time in and with have only served to put my family and friends back home on an even higher pedestal. i miss all of you so, so much...

but the practical conclusion i've come to is that moping and pining for home isn't gonna make my christmas here any more bearable or enjoyable, for myself and the people around me, people that are so generously going out of their way to ensure that i don't celebrate christmas alone. so. i'm not expecting the waves of homesickness (and refined sugar cravings, unfortunately) to disappear anytime soon, but i'm planning to make the most of what i have (and give in to my gluttony - it makes me feel better. until i swallow. then i just get warmer. which isn't necessary now i have a nice new coat.).

being here has also made me realized why so many people see christmas as over-commercialized and an exploitation of us slaves to consumerism. the lights, gifts, trees, wreaths and ubiquitous christmas carols hold no meaning on their own. if that were all christmas was to me i wouldn't like it very much. it would be so superficial, so frivolous, so... theatrical. like a flamboyant sound and light show with overpriced tickets that you're forced to attend.

christmas means more.
that statment isn't just another cliche to me now.