i will survive!

at the mahatma's request, i have, as you may have noticed, increased the number of posts i have per page. i suppose it makes for easier reading... but it looked neater with one post a page somehow. so i'm anal, deal. also with more posts per page it seems like more of me is exposed at one go... kinda like i've changed into a tube and miniskirt after wearing a baby tee and jeans, make sense? lol.

so i've been shopping a lot lately... well more like comparing prices la, i haven't bought much. yet. after living in a country like malaysia your whole life, shopping for clothes to bring to a place where the annual average temperature is about 12 degrees celsius is bewildering! i feel so noob... like i honestly thought i'd be able to survive 10 degrees with a hoodie and the lady at this winter clothing store was like "nooo cannot! you have to wear long johns, a sweater and a jacket... 3 layers!" gosh. it's gonna be so weird to have to wear so many layers everytime i go out, especially since now i can walk out of my house in a sleeveless top and shorts anytime i want. in fact, it's probably the most comfortable thing to wear out. nyeh.

i don't do layers! i don't have layers! so now i have to buy layers! oh and layers aren't cheap okay! think 3 times the clothing, so 3 times the cost. i mean here even if you buy a jacket to wear to college or something you can survive with 2 or 3, but if it's something i have to wear every day there, i need more! so that's more clothes, squared. more clothes for the layers, and more clothes for variety. and that means more cost, squared. i've been comforting myself by converting the cost from rm to usd... like if i spend 700 ringgit here, it's 200 usd which really isn't so much for shoes, a hoodie, two sweaters, jeans, bags, and a bit more. right? right?

on a totally unrelated note (well maybe just a teensy bit related)... for 3 hours on saturday there was this possibility that i might not have had to leave home in a little over 2 weeks after all. that i might have been here til february. that i might have been getting a 50% tuition-fee scholarship to study in australia. 50% for the next 3 years. that i might have been going to a slightly better university instead. that i might have been going to a country where there are people i know, a country that i know friends are planning to go to as well. heck i might have been leaving with them, instead of before them. that i might have been closer to home for the next 2 or 3 years. but, like i said, there was this possibility. things have returned to the status quo.

do i feel regret? maybe.
did i want to go to australia instead? kinda.
do i wish i wasn't going to the us? not really.
do i think things are better this way? i don't know.
do i think things will work out in the end? probably.

i think sometimes people get too caught up in the what-might-have-beens that they fail to realize that the what-might-have-beens are actually what-could-not-bes. there's a difference. and i think that everything in life happens for a reason, and even if it's something you're not sure you want it's comforting look back and see how everything you've been through has brought you to where you are today... and where you are might be less than ideal, but it isn't all that bad is it?

i'll survive.