my reality: i want i need.

Wednesday, 19 September 2007

i want i need.

gosh i feel so overwhelmed by everything i'm trying to do within the next two years.
i need more time. but do i have time to spare?
i have time. rather, do i have money to spare to pay for that time?
i want to do it. i know i can.

honors college intimidates me. but the challenge makes it all the more appealing.
i want to do more than psychology. it means more work but the challenge makes it all the more tempting.
i want to travel. and it can't get any more tempting or appealing.
i want to do it. i know i can.
but can i? please?

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"the greatest hazard of all, losing the self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. no other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss - an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc. - is sure to be noticed.

thus possibility seems greater and greater to the self; more and more it becomes possible because nothing becomes actual. eventually everything seems possible, but this is exactly the point at which the abyss swallows up the self. it takes time for each little possibility to become an actuality. eventually, however, the time that should be used for actuality grows shorter and shorter; everything becomes more and more momentary. possibility becomes more and more intensive - but in the sense of possibility, not in the sense of actuality, for the intensive in the sense of actuality means to actualize some of what is possible. the instant something appears to be possible, a new possibility appears, and finally these phantasmagoria follow one another in such rapid succession that it seems as if everything were possible, and this is exactly the final moment, the point at which the individual himself becomes a mirage."

- the sickness unto death, soren kierkegaard

my reality

Wednesday, 19 September 2007

i want i need.

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