my arms hurt...

...from lugging overpriced and overweight textbooks across campus from the bookstore to my room. i spent $325.05 on them, and they're not even new! bought them all secondhand. i'd better be able to sell them back at the end of term. that's right, i'll only be using them for ONE term. except for the most expensive one that i can use for three. but still. that's like 1000 ringgit. on books. alone. for one term. ouch ouch ouch.

had my first lecture this morning... twas chem. it wasn't too bad, did a review on some of the basic stuff, nothing i couldn't handle. definitely gonna take a while for me to get back into the groove of things tho - i kept zoning out. think my attention span has reduced dramatically over the past 4 months or so of sloth.

one of the biggest differences i've observed so far between class here and classes back home is that people actually put up their hands to answer questions from the professor - the professor doesn't have to call on anyone and doesn't have to face an akwardly silent classroom with everyone looking everywhere but at him/her. it's pretty nice. have yet to gather the guts to put my hand up to answer something... i blame my meek asian heritage lol.

anyway, something came up recently with a friend that made me think about crushes. is a crush something to be taken seriously? what is a crush in the first place? is it a romantic feeling we have towards a person that is transient, and therefore something we should do nothing about? do we know when it's "just" a crush? what if we mistake it for something more? if a guy says he likes you, how do you know if it'll last, or if it'll fade away like it did for the last girl he had feelings for? what if you think a crush might develop into something more and then find out that you're mistaken? is it then better to just let it be, and not do anything about it? or what if you think it's nothing and later find out that it is something and it's too late? and if crushes are transient and not anything to be taken seriously, then is having a crush while you're with someone else considered "cheating" if you don't do anything about it?

so many gray areas, and so many trapdoors to fall through, and yet so much potential for gain.