home.

i got hit by a wave of homesickness today for no particular reason. maybe it was her blog post, maybe it was talking to my family yesterday, maybe it was his text message, maybe it was the songs i listened to, maybe it was the home-cooked food i had at my host parents' place... i dunno. probably was a combination of all of the above.

at about 5.30pm, on to way to dick and peggy's, i was looking at the tree-covered hills through the windshield, with the sun peeking through, and i was like, 'wow, i'm gonna be here for two years'. it feels like i've been here for a really long time, but it's only been a bit over a month. i think i'll survive eugene... i like it here. but it's not home. the people here aren't the people back home (which isn't a bad thing in the least), nor do i expect them to be. then i wondered, how would it feel to go home after the two years?

will i feel the same excitement and apprehension i felt coming here? how foreign will home seem, paradoxical as that concept is? will i be able to let go of the way things were with people back home, and accept the changes that will inevitably be there? i don't mean letting go of relationships, but being flexible enough to adapt, and still feel as if it's no less special than it was before i left. will they be able to accept that i will probably not be the same me that left? the essence of who i am is still gonna be there; i have no intention of doing away with the adelle you all know. but two years of living in a different country and being immersed in a different culture is bound to change the way i look, the way i eat, the way i talk, the way i think... not entirely, but i think it's gonna be a perceptible change. what then?

with all the stuff i have to do, added to the time difference, it's gonna be interesting to see how many people i can stay connected with. i promise i'll try, but all of you have to know, and i have to know, that it's gotta be a two way thing. it scares me that i have so many emails unreplied, so many emails i wanna send out... i don't want it to be the start of a downward spiral. i promise i'll try.

but. thoughts aside, today was a good day. watched a football game and actually understood what was going on, thanks (and no thanks) to bryan and sean. the ducks beat the cougars 53-7! and then i had a yummy dinner at dick and peggy's, and rounded off the day chilling at sean's with a bunch of people - he had a potluck, but i only joined them after dinner. 'twas fun. tomorrow i'm devoting my day to cognitive development. and sleep.

one thing i've re-realized, as basic as this realization is, is how important meaningful human contact is.
and how important it is to just give yourself a break from pushing all the time.
and how the two can be combined.
putting work aside for play to maintain my emotional well-being is worth the few lost points on an exam or quiz.

photos from the performance and football game on the way. =)