funneling.

lately i feel as if my head has been filled with such trivial thoughts... my mind is always working, always buzzing but when i think about what i'm thinking about it never seems to be anything big or important or profound. i'm thinking, but not thinking about anything. kinda like when you rev the engine of a stationary car.

my "deep thoughts" seem to be mia. i miss them. they added some complexity and texture to my life... without them everything seems so mundane. routine. shallow. hollow. i wouldn't say pointless because i feel like i'm moving in the direction i want. but i wanna play a melody instead of just banging on piano keys. both make noise and both can be fun, but you kinda need a mixture of both.

maybe that's why i've been blogging less.

i'm pretty sure my profundity's in me somewhere, though. it's not lost. i just need to unscramble the jumble of alphabets in my head and form them into meaningful words and sentences so i can understand them myself. i think sean captured part of this in his post http://ambivalentmonk.wordpress.com/2008/01/22/writing-in-serial/ really, really well.

anyway.

"not all who wander are lost."
- printed on a tshirt i saw.